OVER AT THE “G”

T’was the night before Christmas and over at the “G”,

Everything seemed “normal” . . . well, as “normal” as could be.

It was a Wing meeting . . . so you know the story,

That’s where Irene does the work . . . and Bob gets the glory!

But at this special meeting, Santa made an appearance,

He was visiting every chapter . . . what perseverance!

As he ordered a burrito and kicked off each boot,

We said, “Santa we can’t wait . . . just give us our loot!”

“Well,” said Santa, “I’ve been watching . . . some of you are in question,

So I’m interested in any input, idea, or suggestion.

Let’s begin by you telling me what you think you deserve,

And then tell me why . . . if you have the nerve.”

“Well, Santa,” said Kevin, “there’s not one much greater,

Because I’m busy and important . . . I’m the Chapter Educator!”

Then John, King of Tech, said, “Don’t mean to be abrupt,

But it’s my job to know everything  . . . or I make something up!”

“Wait a minute!” said Carl “I can top that one better,

This group would be so lost without my newsletter!”

“Quit bragging,” said Pam, with a tightly clenched fist,

“I’ve got power . . . I can ban you from the “G” Birthday List!”

“But wait Santa,” said the Williams, “we want one thing made clear,

We’re not ordinary people . . . we’re ‘Couple of the Year’!”

“But there’s even more,” said Luanne, “there’s more that we’ve done,

We meticulously planned all the Chapter G fun!”

“But remember all the ice cream?” questioned Janet and Dick,

“And overeating at dinners ‘til you thought you’d be sick?

So we deserve something, Santa, plus a thanks from these guys, 

For the pounds on their hips, their waist, and their thighs!”

“I’ve been awesome,” said Asa as he eyed Santa’s sack,

“I know,” replied Santa, “for I’ve actually kept track.

For you, my friend Asa, each year’s just alike,

Because once again this year . . . you washed your bike!”

Dave and Ramona said, “Santa, surely you recall,

We invited everyone to our house and they had a ball!”

 “I remember” reminisced Santa, shifting his bag of toys,

“And the best part was corn hole, ‘cause the girls WHIPPED the boys!”

“Excuse me, Santa,” said Ron, “but if you want a plaque,

Slip some big gifts to ‘Harper’ 'cause that's where it's at!

Just remember this Santa, I can't make it more plain,

Mr. Harper's the name . . . and awards are my game!”

“We want gifts!” someone shouted . . . as Santa turned his head,

Why it was none other than our very own Bonnie and Ted,

Ted said, “I’m a nice guy so I should get something neat,”

“But I do tricks!” chimed in Bonnie . . . “I can clap with my feet!”

JR told Santa, “I need nothing . . . but I’m concerned for my Pam,

Because she’s wearing a dress first worn by a man!”

“Well,” chuckled Santa, “I really must confess,

I’m more concerned about how Hamilton looked in his dress!”

Rick and Barb said, “We sold Wing shirts, and Wing pins and patches,

So we deserve a gift because everyone matches.”

We all wore GWRRA stuff  . . . what else could we do?

We feared Ticket Nazi Homer shouting  . . . “No ticket for you!”

Then Jerry and Marilyn got so excited

They ran up to Santa and almost collided,

“Games?  You have games?  Can we have one or two?”

But Santa said, “No, you have more than I do.”

“Can we talk, Santa?” asked Dennis and his BFF Sue,

“For we have quite an interesting scoop just for you.

We’re Assistant Directors, so treat us well if you please,

Because this time next year . . . we’ll be the ‘Big Cheese’!”

“Gather round me,” laughed Santa, “there are gifts to be had,

Except Doc, Jack, and Bert who’ve just been too bad!”

“I’m just kidding,” he chuckled “I’ve brought gifts for all,

Even that wild crazy couple . . . Donna and Garry Paul!”

“I’ve got huge gifts for Jerry and his better-half Cindy,

And a giant lump of coal for Ralph, John, Tom, and Windy,

There’s mistletoe in my bag for Bob and his Pam,

And for Tom and his Donna a “G” Christmas ham!”

Then Marlene said, “Hold on!  Back away from that sack!

I need gifts for my Ken so don’t hold me back.

I need a white jumpsuit and hair gel and such,

‘Cause he sings like Elvis and says, thank you . . . thank you very much!”

“Wait a minute!” shouted Santa, he was quite taken back,

“Someone’s been rummaging through my giant toy sack.”

Well, we saw who had done it and left the bag so untidy,

Was Harry . . . searching for a cheap gift for his little “Idy”.

Out came Janet, Irene, Cindy and Julie,

Pam, Sue, and others (they were quite unruly),

They slithered up to Santa, and all asked with a drawl,

“Hey Big Boy, wanna’ see what we do with a straw?”

“Whoa! said Santa . . . he was startled, his knees started to knock,

We could see his hands shaking . . . he was obviously in shock.

He stammered, “I-I-I need to go” and out the door rushed,

He was clearly quite shaken and his cheeks a little flushed.

But he waved to us smiling as he jumped in his sleigh,

“God bless you and your families on this Christmas Day!

And this year as you travel and wherever you roam,

May every bike trip end . . . with you all safely home.”

We all cheered as he flew by and our excitement exploded,

For it was so fun to see him with his sleigh fully loaded.

Then we heard him exclaim as he quickly turned around,

“Hey, Libby, you call me next time Asa leaves town!”