‘Twas the Night . . .

by Carol Redd

‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the “G” house,

Not a creature was stirring, not even Mr. and Mrs. Rouse!

Spouses had received Christmas lists that were prioritized and printed,

In hopes of getting safety chrome, for which they had hinted.

Now riders and co-riders were all snug in their beds,

While visions of “sunshine” and “dry roads” danced in their heads.

(Now it wouldn’t be bad for riders to dream of summer commutes,

But is it necessary for them to sleep in their helmet and boots?)

When out in the parking lot there arose such a clatter,

That we sprang from Walt’s Hitching Post to see what was the matter.

(For in September we had moved without too many blips,

And it’s not bad eating soup . . . in lieu of salsa and chips.)

The moon it did gleam on the new fallen snow,

It’s pretty, but it interferes with riding you know.

When what to our wondering eyes did appear,

But “G” members out looking for tiny reindeer!

Then a jolly ol’ driver arrived to our applause,

There was no doubt it was him . . . the real Santa Claus!

More rapid than eagles the new members they came,

As Santa complimented their chapter choice and called them by name.

“Welcome John, welcome Janet, welcome Mike, and Karen,

Welcome Pete, welcome Dottie, welcome Arthur, and Faron!

Welcome Robbie, welcome Patrick, welcome Jerry, and Ron,

And last, but not least, welcome Loretta and John!

Then Santa said, “Remember . . . I’m not a medical adviser,

But I brought a gift for everyone . . . it’s called hand sanitizer.

Now in your stockings you’ll find vitamins . . . both C and D too,

And as for those who’ve been extra good . . . I have flu shots for you!”

And then, in a twinkling, I looked under the tree,

Where Santa had stacked Kleenex boxes, he said, “Take two or three.”

Then Santa continued, “Eat carrots and broccoli, an apple or banana,

But, I don’t want to get sick either, so keep your hands off of Santa!”

Then Santa continued and said, “I’ve been watching you all,

And actually tried to visit you earlier this Fall.

But what was up with all that rain?  (The weather seemed fishy),

For my sleigh filled with water and my reindeer got squishy!”

He continued, “This year you had good rides in hot summer sun,

And riding in two parades . . . that looked totally fun!

Reflecting back through this year . . . oh, those were the days,

Like when you got wild and crazy at the Banks in PJ’s!”

“Yes, during riding season there were many great sights and sounds,

And as for “G” dinner rides . . . you probably gained ‘bout ten pounds!

But there’s one thing you’ll agree on as I’m sure everyone thinks,

That camping in the rain . . . well, it pretty much stinks!”

Then Santa complimented the involvement of those who cook,

For their recipes in the Kentucky GWRRA Book.

“But seriously,” chuckled Santa, “No recipe could be greater,

Than the one for “Best Tube Steak” submitted by Gayle Vater!

Santa said, “You all look smarter, you’ve learned much that is true,

‘Cause when it comes to riding safely, you must know what to do.

So stay alert to those around you and, if nothing else, remember this,

That when it comes to Goldwing riding . . . ignorance truly is not bliss!”

“This year included Tech Day plus Co-Rider and Rider courses,

So it sounds like you learned from all the very best sources!

Now if you can gain all this knowledge while still having a blast,

Maybe next year someone can teach a ‘G’ Salsa Class!”

Then Santa explained he received word from a secret insider,

That he should bring a lighted stop sign for each “G” co-rider.

For the signs emphasize to riders what their co-riders say,

Like . . . I’ve got to ‘go’ now and I need food right away!”

Then Santa checked his list . . . yep, he looked over it twice,

And found one who was naughty, though all the rest were nice.

For “The Tom” was rude to Euchre players (to this Barb will attest),

‘Cause he yelled, “Get your sorry …” (hmm . . . I can’t remember the rest).

Next Santa complimented the “G” on its decision to go “green”,

By not mailing so many newsletters . . . if you know what I mean.

He said money saved should be given to a hospital fund raiser,

For a new “Chapter G Knee Surgery Wing” . . . both regular and laser.

Then said Santa to Sue and Dennis, “You’re near the end of your reign,

But just know all the work you’ve done has not been in vein.

You were well worth your salary and all the bonuses too,

(WHAT?  You did all that for nothing?  Oh, my gosh!  Who knew?)”

Then he spoke not a word, but whispered to Jerry and Luanne,

“You’ll be good directors too . . . I just know that you can,

But it’s a very big commitment that can sometimes be scary,

So when you’re feeling overwhelmed . . . just get a double-hug from Harry!

Then Santa sprang to his sleigh as he called out “Goodbye”,

And said, “Keep riding, be safe, and those traffic odds defy.”

Then we heard him exclaim, “Above all else this matters,”

“Keep full tanks and full stomachs . . . and always empty bladders!”